Last days in Ubud

15th Oct 2022

I’ve had some really lovely days in Ubud this last week. Without the relentless rain, I got out more and off the main streets. It is a fascinating town and I very much hope to come back.

Along the streets are what look like temple doors but are front doors of Ubudians. With ornate family temples in the front garden and usually a complex of individual houses amid lush gardens, these guesthouses or home stays are a fantastic place to stay. My first attempt a few weeks back was not so successful and I lasted a night before the noise of scooters and a windowless room (‘it got a door’ the owner told me defensively as I left) drove me to an upmarket hotel version of the same concept.

Cito’s Guesthouse is a wonderful place to stay in Ubud - not far from the centre but passing traffic - foot and scooter - is local people and very different from the craziness on Palace Road or Monkey Forest Road. I feel very at home in Bali which is enhanced by places like Cito’s where I was welcomed by friendly staff/owners who seem to say - ‘Ah - here you are - we’ve been waiting for you.’ Oh and my Mum would be delighted too, its all for less than $15 a night.

I wanted to see some authentic silver jewelry and so my friend Iggy who knows everyone in and around Ubud took me about 20 minutes out of town to a workshop / wholesaler. The artisans tinker and craft outside while the glass cabinets and over A/C-ed showroom wait for customers. It wasn’t as cheap as I’d expected, but the jewellery was lovely and very different from the endless trays of silver in the markets of Ubud. The quality here, Iggy told me, was ‘top notch governor.’ (He watches far too many English films).

I am mathematically challenged on a good day (discalcular - as Cele calls it) and I haven’t got the hang of the Indonesian currency even after more than two weeks here. It just sounds like a lot and I panic when I hear the many zero’s in the price of everything - even a cup of coffee. I had a dragon fruit and cinnamon sorbet yesterday and it was 55,000 IDR which sounded insane. Once I’d eaten it and finally worked it out it was less than $3. The silver shop was another level all together with everything adding up to millions of IDR. What if Iggy had the calculations wrong and it wasn’t a few hundred pounds but a few thousand! Even the AC didn’t stop me sweating a bit as the credit card verified my shopping. When I got back to Cito’s, I worked it out and realized I should have spent double and got lots more. It’s all lovely and actually not that expensive either. However, I was aware that my silver haul cost more than Iggy’s monthly rent by a long shot.

I caught up with a passing silver trader Neil, had dinner and heard about his life on the road, which sounded good in many ways but missing many of the things I value and miss like my loved ones, my home, my dogs and cat, my garden - all the routine things which we often go on holiday to get away from. Neil has been traveling like this for years, never anywhere for very long. In his 70’s now, he seems wistful about a family life at home he didn’t have. I am grateful I can travel like this and then return to my life at home refreshed and grateful for the abundance in my life.

I’ve been to the markets in Ubud this week - colorful stalls of fabrics, sarongs, baggy pants and dresses and t-shirts. There is fine woven wicker work too - sadly too bulky and fragile to take home. I love the wooden shrines - no bigger than a cereal box - which everyone has dotted around their homes or businesses. I’m going to set one up when I get home - I love the daily gratitude and moment with loved ones - present and not - that these home shrines celebrate.

There is a lone white butterfly that visits me every morning at Cito’s. I comes and lands next to me as I have my breakfast (‘breggfast’ the maid insists, explaining that is why we have eggs in the morning) and flip-flops around my little cottage whenever I’m around. I like to think it represents all my loved ones - the good thoughts and affection of my friends and family around the world.

The feeling of wellbeing has deepened and strengthened this week too. I feel like the ‘homecoming’ is internal and lasting. It’s a great feeling to be able to see anxiety for what it is and not get caught up in its jaws. Daily meditation and spiritual connection obviously has helped cultivate this loving kindness and detachment. It’s a huge relief to live like this - breath at a time - easy and open to whatever life has in store.

Charlie, an Ubud friend had told me she’d had a fantastic massage the day before. Part of my SE Asia quest has been to find the best massage so I had to give it a try. Straight after my no-egg breggfast, I went to the traditional spa in nearby paddy fields. The guy sweeping the floor turned out to be my masseuse which made me wonder if this was the massage I’m looking for. Five minutes in, I knew. I think this takes the best massage of Bali award. What I also realized is the huge improvement in my shoulders since I arrived and many hours of massage later.

Leaving Ubud in the rain, I headed to meet a friend from London in Sanur. The beautiful beach resort of Tanjung Sari Hotel is much closer to the images of Bali I had before I arrived. White sand beaches and aqua sea. Lovely to meet up with Annie and 3-hours passed in a flash.

From Sanur I caught a Bluebird taxi to the airport. My drivers name was Mr Risky! When I mentioned it he emphatically told me he was a very safe driver - ‘no risky, lady, no risky.’ Too funny. I have booked an airport hotel to make it easy for Des when he arrives in Bali past midnight. It’s going to take a few days for me to adjust to having Des here and changing the ‘I’ back to a ‘We’.

When I left Ubud, I realized I was packed and ready far too early. However, I appreciate my natural tendency, inherited from my dearest Dad, to be ready quite a bit before time. Traveling on my own has shown me my natural tendencies in many things. I haven’t been reacting to Des’ last minute chaos, or Cameron or Celeste but finding my own pace, my own way and what I like. This may sound very simple but its really the whole reason I wanted this time alone, to be Tilda on her own and in her own space. It has been, and is, a really wonderful and quite profound reset after 26 years of marriage and motherhood and looking after and out for everyone else. I’ve learnt that everyone else can actually look out for themselves. They are much better served by a relaxed and loving Tilda working on her own stuff but present rather than an anxious and harried Tilda who is so focused on tomorrow and all its plans that she misses out on what’s happening today.